“You’ve got to get obsessed and stay obsessed.” ~ John Irving, The Hotel New Hampshire
I weighed on March 1st and performed cart-wheels and back-flips when the scale registered that I’d lost 40lbs. Okay, so maybe the cart-wheels and back-flips were only done in my head, because I’m still over 200 lbs and this old body just doesn’t bend that way anymore, but you get my drift. I managed to maintain that 40lb weight loss for exactly 1 week.
Then something happened. I glimpsed the future and the past all at the same time. It was if I had somehow stepped into a quantum time-travel experiment gone terribly awry, ending up with the body of a fly and the head of a human only to confront a huge-assed spider with a red F across her chest. That F stands for FAT my friends or for FAIL, take your pick. I got on the scale this morning and I have gained 8lbs. What the…how did THAT happen?
Well, I’ll tell you how it happened. Even though I’ve been eating low carb, I have not been as vigilant in the last 3 weeks at keeping my food diary, I’ve added some of the more dubious culprits of low carb – such as the Flours that are mostly fiber and some sugar alcohol sweeteners. I also haven’t exercised more than 2 times per week. And, I’ve also given myself permission to eat things that aren’t so low carb. Phew, that confession felt good and of course, I see the problem now, which leads me back to my time-travel debacle and the bulbous body of a fly.
In the past when I have managed to diet myself down to the weight I’ve wanted, I have ALWAYS gained it back because I’ve somehow given myself permission to eat off plan or to eat the “franken-foods” that typically lead to cheating. Then I’ve forgiven my indiscretions with sugar and carbs in general. Hello, my name is Wendy and I am a Carbohydrate Addict.
Hindsight is 20/20 and I swore this time would be different but dammit here I am again, letting myself slack. Is my future self going to end up as my past self? A big FAT FAILURE?
Noooooooooo……..
This is not a diet people, this is a lifestyle and I have got to stop looking for ways to make things like sweets and breads more low carb. They just aren’t – in any shape or form – acceptable for me at this point. I know there are low-carbers out there that have no problem with the products I’m talking about and hey go with God on that, but my body seems to want to gain when I eat these things – so, I’m going to have to push away from the table and say no more carbalose for me, Mom.
I’m going back to the Atkins roots. I’m not doing induction levels again, but I’m backing down a few rungs on the old OWL ladders (that’s Ongoing Weight Loss for the non-Atkins folk out there). So, Vegetables, Fresh Cheese/Dairy (in limited quantities), Nuts and Seeds(in limited quantities), and Berries are okay. These don’t seem to make me gain. But Legumes, other fruits, starchy vegetables and whole grains will have to come out of my diet and be put on hold for a while.
Wow, the spider is getting a little smaller now. She could still kick my ass at any moment though, so it appears that constant vigilance will have to become my mantra. Nobody wants to be her lunch, least of all me.
